2
http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mzwsyk3ddP1sdddzto1_1390572957_cover.jpg
Plays: 1,287
Song: Dust to Dust
Artist: The Civil Wars
Album: The Civil Wars

You’ve driven me crazy, she thought silently, you’ve caused me considerable pain. I mean, I have the feeling that something about you is poisoning everything else, she stops at this sentence, and the morning coffee suddenly grew bitter to her, but I can’t abandon you and I can’t let you go. She reconsider this over another cup in lagged silence. If you are really a poison, like they said, she contemplates, I’d drink it down anyway.

"You’ve forgotten me…"

I shake my head. “Not really.” I’m just old, I wanted to say. But the fact that I could be entirely right about it, left bitter taste on my mouth.

Do you know the meaning of my solitude? I have my good days. But I also have a lot of days I don’t even want to move. I had been every other person, in every other body, and I had carried the heart of each self I’ve ever been, at every stage along the way, and a chaos of everything good and rotten, in every other reality, now I just wanted to be alone. I’ve been writing a lot of letters. Sad letters, happy letters, angry letters… confusing letters that screams, “I hate all of you….”, and it echoes and echoes and echoes and hits the wall and screams another, “except for the fact that I love all of you.”

Do you know the meaning of my solitude? I have my good days. But I also have a lot of days I don’t even want to move. I had been every other person, in every other body, and I had carried the heart of each self I’ve ever been, at every stage along the way, and a chaos of everything good and rotten, in every other reality, now I just wanted to be alone. I’ve been writing a lot of letters. Sad letters, happy letters, angry letters… confusing letters that screams, “I hate all of you….”, and it echoes and echoes and echoes and hits the wall and screams another, “except for the fact that I love all of you.”

When I think I fell in love, I become immediately fascinated, and so you could see that I start writing about it, and then I keep writing about it, and before long I couldn’t stop writing about it. But in truth, a lot of guys I can think of, including a few whom I’ve known some of my adolescent years, do not inspire strong feelings one way or the other – they are, I’m sorry, uh… not terribly important to me. They just don’t register as very significant, or even distinguishable from each other. I never want them to be that important. I never want you to be that important. I’m terrible, that way.
I’m going to have to stop writing about you. And when the storms end, I’m going to pick up myself again, and I’m going to start writing about other people, and it’s going to be fucking beautiful.

When I think I fell in love, I become immediately fascinated, and so you could see that I start writing about it, and then I keep writing about it, and before long I couldn’t stop writing about it. But in truth, a lot of guys I can think of, including a few whom I’ve known some of my adolescent years, do not inspire strong feelings one way or the other – they are, I’m sorry, uh… not terribly important to me. They just don’t register as very significant, or even distinguishable from each other. I never want them to be that important. I never want you to be that important. I’m terrible, that way.

I’m going to have to stop writing about you. And when the storms end, I’m going to pick up myself again, and I’m going to start writing about other people, and it’s going to be fucking beautiful.

Insanity

Pretty as a doll. Can I take you home with me? I wouldn’t touch you or anything. That is just my moral compass. I’d just put you on a shelf, so I could look at you, because you are pretty as a doll. I’ll stare at you all night, and love you, and talk to you…

'You are one fascinating thing, don't you? Who knows what you're capable of in this life, if you weren't so damage?'

I’d save you, if I could. But who’s going to save me?’

'April is coming up and you know what that means? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.'

'I love coffees, do you drink coffee? I like them black. It's quite a good choice of drink. I don't know. I've been drinking six-eight cups a day all my life. I feel so good every single time. Partially it’s a placebo effect. But that’s perfectly fine.'

'I have a mawkish, natural enthusiasm for things. I like being alive in a way that’s a little bit cheerleaderish; I sounded almost crazy. But there would be certainly no need to inform you that I am not created for any sort of society. The trouble is I don't know how to behave in company. I am either excessively kind and polite or I am excessively rude. Does that make any sense, so far?'

'You see, I belong to no one and no one belongs to me. I am pretty amazing, there's nothing I cannot let go of if I tried hard enough. Truth is, I'm pretty convinced that I have never loved any of them, I was just lonely. Although I probably lying about that too. Anyway, I could say that forever isn’t for everyone. Is forever for you?’

'Don't wink at me please, it's something I really dislike even as an emoticon.'

'God, how come you are so pretty? How is that even possible?

"Life’s too short to drink crappy coffee and cry over boys who don’t care."

Matty Healy (the 1975)

bronsonsnelling:

furstyphoto:

Cold world.

Everything you post Dylan… WOW.

earl52:

(The best of me listened
to the worst of my voices
the choices I made
took me to a place with no choices)

Looking through the window
at the early morning parking lot
quiet coffee in a 24 hour store
so beautiful to see
anything and everything
that isn’t a concrete block wall.

So many…

"

I realized
why
you’re not
my cup of tea.

I drink coffee.

"

Melanie, from Movielike  (via losed)

October last year, on a day just like this one, on the seventh or eighth cups of coffee, I think I must have loved him. I was an unhappy moody person, but I took a shine to him, who had a way about him and talked to me with a ridiculously beaming smile. My love for him was mostly for the fact that he was cheerful. And I do not love cheerful people. 

I live on coffees since new year. But I don’t drink-and-write anymore. Words, I figured, they were insufficient to the moment or that they do not change anything. And I don’t bother conversations that much, and I no longer find other people concerns remotely interesting. I am absolutely intolerable, that’s all.
But I still find you and all your polarizing contradictions still exciting, and new. As it is, our culture is not long on contradiction or ambiguity… it likes things to be simple, it likes things to be pigeonholed. But I am not any of that. You were worthy of my attention then. Still worthy of my attention now.
It would only take a few words onto this page to understand yourself more clearly. In either respect, I think we can all agree that the recollections are often gratuitous and offensive, and that they do not service the memory, and that it is imperative that we express our opinions about them, whether those opinions are well-formed or not. And whether there is truth to them or not, knows that I wrote them because it is convenient for me, so according to most, I am the worst. So you see now that I am not to be trusted with my words. 
I went to the sea yesterday when the weather was good. Sea makes me happy. It is salty like tears. It makes me really, really happy—genuinely happy, but I couldn’t wait for it long enough. It seems to me that you can’t wait for anything long enough, they’ll make you sad after a while.

I live on coffees since new year. But I don’t drink-and-write anymore. Words, I figured, they were insufficient to the moment or that they do not change anything. And I don’t bother conversations that much, and I no longer find other people concerns remotely interesting. I am absolutely intolerable, that’s all.

But I still find you and all your polarizing contradictions still exciting, and new. As it is, our culture is not long on contradiction or ambiguity… it likes things to be simple, it likes things to be pigeonholed. But I am not any of that. You were worthy of my attention then. Still worthy of my attention now.

It would only take a few words onto this page to understand yourself more clearly. In either respect, I think we can all agree that the recollections are often gratuitous and offensive, and that they do not service the memory, and that it is imperative that we express our opinions about them, whether those opinions are well-formed or not. And whether there is truth to them or not, knows that I wrote them because it is convenient for me, so according to most, I am the worst. So you see now that I am not to be trusted with my words. 

I went to the sea yesterday when the weather was good. Sea makes me happy. It is salty like tears. It makes me really, really happy—genuinely happy, but I couldn’t wait for it long enough. It seems to me that you can’t wait for anything long enough, they’ll make you sad after a while.

"The coffee begins to taste more and more metallic. Each deadline is now a crisis, each is more intense than the last. Behind this job-like-any-other-job seems to lie something void, something terminal, something growing closer, each day, to manifestation…."

Thomas Pynchon, Gravity’s Rainbow (via robcam-wfu)